New Year's Resolutions

Today I thought I would share my New Year's Resolutions.

I'm of the opinion that no one should wait until the new year to improve their life or set goals but it's a great time when most people are reflecting on their lives and endeavoring to improve them. It seems like a great community effort toward progression and even though we all know the statistics on failing new years resolutions I'm of the strong opinion that...

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

- Philippians 4:13

Personally, I LOVE reading other people's new year's goals and intentions, it gives me ideas and inspiration! So without further ado, here are my big three :)

1. Be Calmer in My Daily Speaking

I'm an Aries and we are known for being all fire. I'm a spark, and when I get pushed around, I shout and yes, I even shout at my kids. I can't stand this about myself and I've been working on it for years. I even gave up yelling for Lent once. But I thought this time instead of focusing on "not yelling" I would focus on calm speech which is interesting because it's made me super aware of the words I use to and when they are uplifting and when they are not. I'm still yelling but the first step is to be aware of it and then tone it down as much as you can and I have been able to not yell on many occasions so I'm counting these as small steps toward victory.

2. Be More Aware of Others in Need

I have many ill friends and family right now and their illnesses have brought to my attention how much we all suffer in our own ways and how much we need care and concern from our friends, family and community. I recently sat down and made a list of friends and family who are ill or suffering and jotted down some ideas on how I could better serve them. I hope to keep this list ongoing during the year and set goals to save and visit family and friends who live far away more often. 

3. Provide Myself With More Rest and Reflection Time

I'm a stimulation junky. I usually have the radio on when I'm doing dishes or a Netflix streaming while I knit. Even when I "rest" I grab a book or magazine to entertain myself. I am no good at doing nothing. But it occurred to me recently how much we all need time to sit, reflect and absorb our lives. We can only gain wisdom through processing. 

We already don't have a TV but I cut back our online movie time drastically, by about 70%. We set smaller times spaced out throughout the week for family "movie time." Three days a week for a little bit in the afternoon we will sit down and watch a show together. Even then, I've also drastically cut back on what we watch, focusing on wholesome, modest things that give glory to God. I don't want to pollute my mind, or the minds of my children with too much fluff.

I've cut back on radio time too. Instead of playing Pandora or NPR all day while I go about chores I do so in silence (well, the silence afforded me by my 3 kids!) and I find myself pondering events and situations that needed reflection. 

I also cut back on non-scriptural reading. Reading for fun is crucial and needed but I find myself gravitating toward the "fun" stuff and neglecting my scriptures and Church magazines. With no movies or radio playing my children often ask me to read allowed as they play quietly and we have been sharing so many more Church messages and scriptures with each other lately! It's wonderful!

As far as the Internet goes I quit facebook for technical as well as personal reasons. My laptop recently broke and at first I thought I would naturally replace it (and as soon as possible!) but after reflecting a moment it seemed RIDICULOUS to have two computers in our house! How silly! So I decided simply to share my husbands computer which means I'm online A LOT less often and I have to be very thoughtful and intentional with my time online (because often there is an anxious hubby itchin' for his computer back! :)) I have a lot less information coming into my mind and much more time to process it fully. It's blissful!

Most importantly I have been able to really absorb my life on a deeper level. My mind is clearer and more refreshed, I'm less stressed both mentally and physically and I'm more aware of my own needs as well as the needs of my family.  To pass time that I would have spent engaged in a distracting form of media I often find myself cleaning or spending more time with my children.

What resolutions have you made? How are they working out so far?  

What Has Happened to Extended Hospitality?

 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.  

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies -- in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ...  

(1 Peter 4:8-11).

The thought trickled in a few months ago during a re-reading of Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. 

Hospitality.

It was deep in the 1860s, going beyond a simple invite of the neighbors to tea, they lived it, they breathed it.

When the tin salesman came riding up in his wagon, the family put a hen in the oven and fresh sheets on the bed, naturally the man would stay in their home.

When the shoemaker came through their neck of the woods he was given free room and board for a week as well as payment to make their shoes. After all where would he go? There simply were no Super 8s back then.

But there are now...Super 8s I mean, and Hotel 6s and spas and resorts and that's where we stay. What have we lost because of this?

We've become closed off, living behind the walls of our homes rarely welcoming anyone in for a visit much less a long stay and even when we do they are likely to be close family, never would we dream of putting up a total stranger. 

But our grandparents and great-great grandparents did. 

When the tin salesman came each year he brought with him stories and news from his travels. The Wilder family sat down in the evenings and laughed so hard they cried as he spun his tales. 

Now we check our facebook status updates and see pictures of nieces, nephews, friends and grandchildren but do we really know them? Do we know the sound of their laugh, the wretch of their cry? Do we know how their brow creases when they are thinking or how their eye twinkles when they have an idea?

These are only things we learn by inviting people in and being with them. People we love as well as people we may not know as well. 

It's not always comfortable, I know that. You may have to wait to use the bathroom. They may see how untidy you keep your bedroom. They may not like your food. But do we remember what we gain? 

Love, connection, conversation, and community.

I thought about it even more. How did this start?

And that's when it felt political to me.

A lot of people talk these days about shrinking the government. Social welfare has made us dependent and the best thing you can do for people is foster independence. I don't completely disagree with that assertion in some cases but it's not just government programs that make people dependent - in fact, we have a worse offender, it's corporations.

Super 8, Best Western, Motel 6 and the like have talked the past few generations of traveling folk into the notion that they should fork out some cash and not impose on those around them. 

They've shifted the culture for their own benefit, and made us dependent on THEM to provide services we now think we all need. Like many corporations who have done a similar thing, they have detached us from our friends and family by providing a "service" that use to be provided by our family and community.

How do we take this back? Where does it start?

It starts in our homes and in our hearts. 

Will you make a commitment to be more hospitable in 2012? I know I am!

This is a Home

 

I don't know exactly how it all started but you know the feeling, that turvey topsy shifting and before you know it your cheeks flush hot, your heart pounds a bit more and you realize things have gotten totally out of control?

 

Due to some recent very shocking news (more on that in another post) my family has felt, well, off. Our routine is off, our feelings are off and our home is off.

 

What's more is that I've been so caught up, stuck on that feeling of day to day survival that I hadn't noticed how off we were.

 

That is until something so simple reminded me. My husband was on the phone with the Internet company trying to trouble shoot a problem. At some point in the conversation the man asked, "Is this a residence or a business?" Without skipping a beat my husband replied, "This is a home."

This is a home.

Yes, it is and some how, sometimes, we forget that. How can we forget that?

I'm just glad I had an opportunity to remember.....

Around the web today....I truly believe people should have the right to choose their own food, this story hit close to home. We all know being materialistic is a sad way to go through this beautiful, abundant life of ours and a new study shows that being materialistic also causes problems in marriage. Protecting young girls from exploitation in today's society is difficult and here's a grass roots organization to help.

Little Children and the Joy of Eating

 

 I love pictures of children eating something yummy.

 

I guess because they do it with so much gratitude and joy. The meal looms large over their tiny existence and they literally dive in, completely in the moment. 

 Here the kids and I are eating at Cafe 1, an organic breakfast and lunch cafe in Fort Bragg, CA.

Around the web this weekend....

Did you ever think you'd hear of an entire bridge being stolen? Sounds like something from a movie but it really happened recently. Crazy. And speaking of theft, ever loose a Netflix and looked at your postal carrier a little more suspiciously? Well, it turns out sometimes the friendly neighborhood mailman is pinching your DVDs and other things too!

New crack downs by the federal government have shown that even when the people let their voice be heard by vote the government can simply choose to ignore them. What's up with that?

I'm a pretty natural livin' kinda gal but I do have one modern indulgence, outside of blogging, and that's sci-fi. A recent vote tallied the 25 best sci-fi heroes and some of my best friends were on the list!

Flu shot season is here and there's one more reason to be weary of the needle. And speaking of medical choices did you know that a brave woman made a choice back in the 50s that saved not only her baby's life but changed the world as we know it?

Have a blissful weekend!

Will you wait for them to catch up?

 

Recently my family and I went on a short trip to visit a lighthouse museum about an hour away from where we live. Once you park you must walk a half mile out, through a nature preserve to get to the light house. It's an easy and pleasant walk but with three boys wandering around it felt like herding cats!

I was in typical "mom" mode. We had an agenda. We were walking from point A to point B. I wanted to see the lighthouse and I knew where I was going.

The boys had other plans.....they wanted to wander around, pick flowers and grass, read ALL of the plaques alongside the path......

I was walking straight - I had a destination.

They piddled here and there and the baby, who refused to be carried wanted to stop and pick up every rock he saw. He kept "holding me up." I would have to stop and wait for him.

I would have to stop and wait for him.....

That's when I realized that this is good practice.

I may know where I'm going. I may be 32 and have a few things figured out and I may know that today I want to go to the lighthouse.

But they don't....nor will they anytime soon.

They don't have direction yet, they don't have a plan.

They just ARE.

As they walk their paths through life will I wait for them?

Will I always remember that they are smaller than I? Younger than I--

that they may not have a path chosen and that's OK (because neither did I when I was their age).

Will I stop.....be patient....and wait.

Will I let them pick flowers, wonder around, start down one way then turn around and chose another?

Heavenly Father, please, grant me the patience. Please give me the ability to....

stop....

turn around...

and wait.....

until they catch up. 

Amen.

An Ode to Play

 

Papa and Sprite go down the slide at our local park.

Before internet, before TV, before movie theaters, before radio, before record players, before plays, before books -- people played.

Really, after gathering food and making sure the cave was in order, there wasn't really much else to do.

Imagine the grown ups, playing. 

When was the last time you saw a grown adult playing? Not just a sports games but using their imagination, swinging for the fun of swinging, running for the fun of running?

Playing seems to be a lost art not only among adults but our children as well.

I invite you, if you don't already, to play more!

Run

Free...

Create a Family Restaurant!

A few nights ago the boys had the greatest idea. Create a family restaurant!

The kids helped me prepare dinner. They helped me set the table fancy. We used paper napkins and rolled up the silverware in them. The best part was naming the restaurant and creating the sign!

The boys named our family restaurant "Tum Tum." Braveheart even created an "open" sign to let Papa know we were open for business as soon as dinner was ready!

 

We prepared an apple, walnut and blue cheese salad along with some steamed broccoli in a white cream sauce with almonds and some sourdough garlic bread.  

A proud employee of Tum Tum!

This was a spur of the moment event but next time (I'm thinking maybe for Sabbath dinners?) I'm going to plan ahead a bit and make it even funner. Here are some of my ideas:

- Wear white shirts, aprons or chef hats

- Come up with a logo for your restaurant

- Choose a server, a chef and the patrons

- Create a menu (with what is for dinner as the "special")

- Use candle light

- Play music

- Create an "ad" for your restaurant and put it up in the house somewhere early on in the day. Have Dad comment on it, if possible, with remarks like, "I think I'd like to go out to this new place, Tum Tum, it sounds really good!"

Please feel free to share your suggestions below! Hope you're having a beautiful Sabbath day!

Women Returning Home, a Solution for the Economic Crisis

Photo Credit

This is an updated post from my old blog.

I should preface this article with a few statements of fact. I am a supporter, fighter and rabble-rouser on behalf of real, full equality and partnership between men and women which is in line with their needs, desires and family roles. I’ve marched in demonstrations, my kids strapped to my back, to advance many progressive causes and I do my best to live a lifestyle consistent with my values.

I believe each woman makes the best choice she can for her family and I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with *some* mothers working or *some* mothers honestly having to work. Please see this essay as a challenge to the current, post-second wAave feminism, corporate dominated, status quo. I am not trying to further the “Mommy wars,” I am simply providing one opinion, one way to look at the family within our society.

If you are a working mother I do not judge you, I do not pity you, and I do not blame you. When I was younger I was taught that women must work outside the home to be happy and fulfilled. I’ve learned that this is not the case and that being a stay-at-home mother can and is a wonderful experience. I’m glad that years ago I read information which challenged what I was taught and now I wish to chime in too, for the next generation of Mommies.

Personally my deepest calling is motherhood. Being a mother is a true gift and far too often it is a gift that our money-driven society has talked women out of enjoying. A generation ago women pushed for the right to be in the workplace and now, in my generation, we find that right has turned into an expectation from without and within.

The bond between a mother and child is a deep emotional, biological and spiritual force. To rob both the mother and the children of their natural state of domestic harmony and mutual growth is a crime visited upon our nation by the corporate powers-that-be. After the women’s movement of the 1960’s and 70’s, corporations, the real rulers of our nation, found that having women in the workplace was great. They could pay them less for the same job a man did and the extra income meant families could buy more “stuff” and a multi-billion dollar daycare industry sprang up.

Let’s just consider what would happen if all partnered, heterosexual, mothers in our country with children less than 16 years old worked no more than 12 hours per week. (I say heterosexual because out of a lesbian couple one of the mothers must work to support the family.)

The first, most obvious change would be in the job market. Millions of jobs would be freed up over night. The people staffing the jobs would need to replace the mothers with men, single women, childless women or mothers of adult children. I believe that very well may mean everyone who needs a job could have one.

But don’t mothers need their jobs? That’s a quick defense. This isn’t the 1950’s anymore, things have changed. Yes, things have and many families could not fathom living on only one income. Here’s the second huge bonus of mothers returning home – simplification.

One of the reasons one income worked in the 1950’s was because people had less. Amazing concept. They also carried little to no debt and housing costs were lower. Many families who bought homes during the modern housing bubble are faced with huge monthly payments.

There are many solutions to the housing issue. Sharing homes, selling off expansive luxury items such as RVs and boats and doing without that cruise this year may help many put some money toward reducing their monthly payments. Best of all however is the fact that people could down size their homes.

We have become accustom to these modern grandiose living spaces of one, two or three thousand feet. The average family home a generation ago was more around 8-900 feet and those families survived. Sure there may have been a wait to get into the bathroom sometimes. Often siblings shared rooms, guests slept on the couch, and the TVs were *much* smaller.

This brings me to my next point. Living off one income is easier if you do away with the huge plasma TV (and the credit card bill that went with it), the cable or satellite TV, the fancy internet, the game systems, the constant movie rentals, etc. Imagine if instead of relying on push button entertainment the mother staying at home dreamed up creative ways to spend quality family time where the children interacted with their parents. Card games, board games, charades, block parties, and reading would all find new fans.

Cutting back on the TV should lead to cutting back on many appliances around the house. Do we really need all those fancy mechanical gadgets? In the 70’s the average family had two things in their home which remained plugged in at all times. Now we have an average of 27 things ALWAYS plugged in! Think about the energy savings once all those things are unplugged!

The so-called “need” for electronic entertainment and gadgets is purely physiological. As a human race we have gone so many years without them it honestly won’t kill us to give them up, I promise, and it won’t kill the kids either no matter how much they feel like it will. Children are marvelous at adjusting, eventually.

So if mom is staying home guess what other benefits we have - healthier, cheaper food! You would be amazed at the enormous savings there are to be had when Mom spends a little extra time cooking up homemade dishes from lentils, polenta, pasta, beans, homemade breads, cakes and rolls, quinoa, rice, home grown herbs, berries and veggies – and just think of the health benefits!

These foods would contain no dyes, no artificial sweeteners, no preservatives, no artificial flavors, etc. The mind boggles at the thought of all the better behaved children we will have in our communities once they ditch the Ritalin in favor of healthy food and more attention.

Cutting back our family spending to meet the income of one bread winner is a great boost the environment too. Less prepackaged food, recycled clothing form the thrift shop instead of always purchasing brand new and brand name, and far less junk we buy on impulse just to make ourselves feel better.

So the next question might be; wont cutting back our spending mean that less money is going into the economy and we’ll just lose the jobs we created by mothers leaving the work force? Not by a long shot. It will trim the fat for sure. People who make a living exploiting over worked, over burdened families with cheap goods will have to find a new line of work but that doesn’t reflect most good jobs in America. Buying less “stuff” will lead to fewer jobs in China for sure, but not here.

What will change is this; when you purchase something you buy smaller and outright. You know you can’t afford a Mercedes bill every month so you save up for six months to buy the older model Chevy instead. You realize that if a television set is something you are going to spring for you save up and purchase a modest priced one because you know you can’t afford a ballooning credit card payment.

What we will lose is the billions of dollars sucked out of us at every opportunity by the elite and their corporations. Their ungodly interest charges and their mental manipulation of the masses will cease. If Mom is home she is able to be more active in her children’s lives, the TV is on less or not at all. Billions of dollars in brain warping advertising is missed, money saved and evil businesses tank while local business and community economies thrive.

Families take a deep breath, they slow down, they do less, they own less and they find out that they are happier for it. The earth has less junk piling up at its doorstep, real jobs take strong root in our local economies, and we all wake up from this corporate orchestrated nightmare we’ve been living in for decades.

It all starts with moms waking up and saying, “I’m not dropping my kids at daycare today. I’m not slaving away for less money so that I can miss the best years of my family’s life together. I am woman, hear me roar! I won’t take this elitist bull anymore! I’m staying home with my kids. I’m cooking them good meals, helping them to learn and to grow. My family’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will no longer be compromised by this anti-women, anti-motherhood, pro-greed agenda we’ve been sold! Kids get your coats; we’re going to the park!”

While down the street that mother’s job goes to a man with a family who was just laid off from his job and a bit of harmony begins to re-weave itself into our lives as humans.