Finding Your Sweet Voice

Feminine Friday is a semi regular feature on A Wise and Glorious Purpose aimed at promoting a culture where women embrace their womanhood as a divine and eternal characteristic.

If eyes are the window to the soul than the voice is it's banner, proclaiming to everyone how we esteem ourselves as well as others.


How do you use your voice?

In Jane Austen's Mansfield Park we read that young Fanny, though not rich or educated, makes a decent first impression on her new family because she, "was not vulgar, her voice was sweet, and when she spoke, her countenance was pretty."

Is your voice pretty? I know that growing up rather Tom-boyish I didn't spend much time on developing a sweet voice. I learned to speak rather harshly, in the manner of those around me, and certainly public schooling did noting but worsen my voices tempo as well as the vulgar words I would use.

For a long time I was of the opinion that using curse words, talking in lower class slang, and arguing in public were all just parts of me and that people around me should deal with this. I was a brave, strong, independent woman and I thought rough speech testified to this.

Once I had children I could hear my voice coming out of them and I didn't like it. I didn't like the way I sounded. I wanted to sound like the beautiful, sweet women I respected in literature. Not snobby, but kind and respectful. I wanted people to think well of me.

It's still a struggle to remember this trait and to practice it. I have successfully stopped cursing, I do not yell or argue in public (except in an emergency) and I speak in order to understand and be understood, not to incite debate but I still raise my voice too often, whine and slip into slang more often then I would like.

It will mostly likely be a life long repair job however I am excited about the ripple effect it will have on my children who are often spoken well of in regards to their speech and politeness.

My husband enjoys it as well. He thinks it's cute when I refuse to cuss, or when I pout instead of shout. He adores the way I speak kindly of others and struggle not to gossip.  Men want to look upon women as if we are fairy like beings of grace and beauty, they want to respect our sweetness so they feel they have something pure to protect and provide for..

Here are some things I have found helpful in my quest to cultivate a gentle voice...

1. Watch my media intake.

I try and stick to sweetness in my environment. I watch movies and read books were people are civil and respectful in their speech. Classics always come to mind here, Peter Pan, Jane Austen, Little Women, Little House on the Prairie, etc.

2. Practice

When I hear words and manners of speaking that I like, I practice using them.

3. Substitute

It was hard for me to quit cursing, I couldn't just *not* say anything in moments of great joy or sorrow so I used substitute words that are cuter and sweeter. Some popular substitute words include, fetch, flip, holy moly, jeepers creepers, jimany petes, and well-I-declare!

It's amazing the ease and grace that comes from good speech. It improves the mood of your life when you limit the amount of negativity you're willing to let spill from your lips. A sweet voice can cultivate a sweet life. 

You'll also be pleasantly surprised how well your children will speak when you, their mother, show them a good example.